Name for All-Men's TV Network Held Hostage by Didactic Film Dwarf

Spike Lee Claims 'Spike TV' Infringes on His Right to Be Preachy and Dull

The cable television network TNN (The National Network, formerly The Nashville Network, and before that The Nasty Underaged Cousin Network) announced last week that filmaker Spike Lee had received a court injunction disallowing them to change their name as planned to Spike TV. The new name had been test marketed to men who wanted a network that caters to exclusively male interests, beating out such other names as Spunk TV, The Tit Channel, and Shemp-Vision.

Mr. Lee has also filed suit against all people using his surname, as well, claiming that only God has the right to also be called 'Lee'. Among those the diminutive Brooklyn-born dwarf is suing are Lee Press-On Nails,Jamie Lee Curtis, the corpse of Lee Marvin, the adverbs, 'suddenly','quickly',and 'decidedly', as well as the obscure bicycle repairman from Ho Chi Minh City, Tran Dong Ly.

When asked by American Weasel reporters to comment on his lawsuit, Mr. Spike Lee would not be quoted on the record, but did show his secret for starting dry leaves on fire with his thick eyeglasses.